Monday, January 31, 2011
Postings....
I'll try to post as much as I can, but you should all know, I can't type. I had to covertly install some BTT (Bark to Text) software on the computer my main human uses and I can only use it when she's gone or asleep. She can't know about the PPP or my prior dealings in 'nip. She's much to delicate to be brought into that shady world.
Being Relocated…
The little girl and her family didn’t take me home that day. I was put back in my glass cell. I was beginning to think I needed to change my tactics to impress people and get assigned to a safe house. Just as I was formulating a new non-peeing strategy two days later (I think it was two days the claw marks in the cement between feeding times said it was two days) the little girl and her dad came back!
Can you believe it! They came back for me! And they left the stepmom at home! They had been impressed with my ability to pee! I was so excited! But where was the stepmom? Why wasn’t she here? This was not boding well for me. I knew she was the one I must impress. I MUST win her over.
Anyway, they took me home with them and changed my name to Milo. I was going to be in my new safe house!
The first stop we made was to drop the little girl off at her dance practice. Then I was wisk away by the dad to an office to pick up the stepmom. (I promise I learned their names later)
This was it; this was my first chance to impress. I ran into the office and found the stepmom and jumped up on her wagging my tail, letting her see just how happy I was to see her. She was starting to melt, I could see it!
We finally reached my new safe house after what had to have been hours. I learned there were rules. I was to sleep upstairs and stay up there. The little girl was to be the one that fed me and took me out to “do my business”. She was to be my keeper and be solely responsible for my care.
Uh huh… We’ll see about that.
Can you believe it! They came back for me! And they left the stepmom at home! They had been impressed with my ability to pee! I was so excited! But where was the stepmom? Why wasn’t she here? This was not boding well for me. I knew she was the one I must impress. I MUST win her over.
Anyway, they took me home with them and changed my name to Milo. I was going to be in my new safe house!
The first stop we made was to drop the little girl off at her dance practice. Then I was wisk away by the dad to an office to pick up the stepmom. (I promise I learned their names later)
This was it; this was my first chance to impress. I ran into the office and found the stepmom and jumped up on her wagging my tail, letting her see just how happy I was to see her. She was starting to melt, I could see it!
We finally reached my new safe house after what had to have been hours. I learned there were rules. I was to sleep upstairs and stay up there. The little girl was to be the one that fed me and took me out to “do my business”. She was to be my keeper and be solely responsible for my care.
Uh huh… We’ll see about that.
Friday, January 28, 2011
The beginning... or maybe it's the middle, let's just go with calling this the beginning.
It all started when I was sent up the river for dealing Nip, that's CatNip to those of you not in the biz. I ended up at the Humane Society, Silicon Valley. How I got there cannot be discussed, afterall, I am in the PPP (Puppy Protection Program) and I'm not allowed to talk about some details. Actually, I'm not SUPPOSED to be telling you any of this, but I feel my story must be told.
I'm not sure how long I was at the HSSV, the days and nights ran together. All I know is during my time there, they took away my family jewels, cut them off! I'm not sure how it even happened. I went to sleep one night, some nameless person came in my cell and got me, I was then knocked out and woke up the next morning back in my cell and all that was left was stitches, in place of... of... well you know! I'm still traumatized. STILL!
My stint in the big house didn’t end after my jewels were taken away.
I was put into a big glass cell and given a new name. A large yellow tag stuck to my cell proclaimed that I was now “Miles.” Miles? Really? That’s the best they could come up with? Last I checked, I was a dog not a blues singer.
From that day on humans came to look at me suffer in my cell under my assumed name. Occasionally, I would be released into this large yard where multiple humans would try to smother me and coo at me.
One day a young girl and her family came to visit and took me to this little room. I decided to show them what I was made of and peed on every item in the room. It was a wondrous feat. No one can pee as much as I can. A bladder may be the only internal organ I possess.
The little girl loved me and wanted to take me home, but her stepmom had other ideas. My ability to pee on everything did not impress her, plus she didn’t think I looked at all like a “Miles”. She was not impressed with my new moniker and promptly changed it to “Milo.”
That was her first mistake…
It all started when I was sent up the river for dealing Nip, that's CatNip to those of you not in the biz. I ended up at the Humane Society, Silicon Valley. How I got there cannot be discussed, afterall, I am in the PPP (Puppy Protection Program) and I'm not allowed to talk about some details. Actually, I'm not SUPPOSED to be telling you any of this, but I feel my story must be told.
I'm not sure how long I was at the HSSV, the days and nights ran together. All I know is during my time there, they took away my family jewels, cut them off! I'm not sure how it even happened. I went to sleep one night, some nameless person came in my cell and got me, I was then knocked out and woke up the next morning back in my cell and all that was left was stitches, in place of... of... well you know! I'm still traumatized. STILL!
My stint in the big house didn’t end after my jewels were taken away.
I was put into a big glass cell and given a new name. A large yellow tag stuck to my cell proclaimed that I was now “Miles.” Miles? Really? That’s the best they could come up with? Last I checked, I was a dog not a blues singer.
From that day on humans came to look at me suffer in my cell under my assumed name. Occasionally, I would be released into this large yard where multiple humans would try to smother me and coo at me.
One day a young girl and her family came to visit and took me to this little room. I decided to show them what I was made of and peed on every item in the room. It was a wondrous feat. No one can pee as much as I can. A bladder may be the only internal organ I possess.
The little girl loved me and wanted to take me home, but her stepmom had other ideas. My ability to pee on everything did not impress her, plus she didn’t think I looked at all like a “Miles”. She was not impressed with my new moniker and promptly changed it to “Milo.”
That was her first mistake…
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